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Great Expectations

February 18, 2011 Leave a comment

Well, well, well WordPress; it’s been a while hasn’t it?
So I’m lay here unable to sleep for the 3rd night in a row, listening to Massive Attack’s “Unfinished Sympathy”, and wondering what’s wrong with me. So I decided that there’s too much going on in my head: gotta get that stuff into writing so I can just analyse it later on. So: blog it is!!

Where do I even begin? I can’t remember the last time I even blogged, so I’m going to just start from before Xmas. That’s when things all started going a bit Pete Tong, as the expression goes… Well straight in :-

The day before Xmas eve, we buried my mums best friend of 9 years. Breast cancer. Left behind 5 kids, one too young to know what was going on and who probably won’t remember her in 2 years. A useless ex-partner, who didn’t even show at the funeral. What kind of man can avoid the funeral of his children’s mother? Like I said, useless. Mums been distraught, keeps trying to call her, text her, visit her, invite her for a drink, etc. I guess it must be hard, knowing someone for that long and them suddenly being gone. How do you even go about getting over that?

So, needless to say, Xmas was a cheerful affair in my house this year. Spent it at home for maybe the 3rd time in 22 years.

Figured things were likely to look up for new year; new year = new start? How wrong could I be? Barely been back at uni a month and already been hit with some more bad news: my friend, that I met at the start of uni, his daughter has just been diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour. She’s only 3 & a 1/2 years old. 3 & a 1/2. The doctors are estimating that she has between 9 & 12 months to live. How does anyone begin to process that? It seems wrong. What do you say to a recovered alcoholic whose only daughter is dying? I guess that all any of us can do is pray, be there, and try to keep his arse from falling off the wagon. I cant say I would blame him if he wanted to fall off though: it’s beginning to sound more and more appealing by the day.

And with all this going on, I can’t help but think about this: the bible is constantly telling people that God will test them, to prove that they love him enough. Seems a bit narcissistic to me, but who am I to argue with a book that old? I’ve got to say though, the big guy’s getting a bit heavy handed on this stuff of late. Now, I’m not one for praying (honestly, I’m pretty sure that it’s utter crap) but if the big beardy chief could throw the kid a break, I’ll start going to church. Amen.

#nowplaying: To Absent Friends – Frank Turner

Categories: Life